What is a victory?
I wanted to share an article I wrote for Manifest-Station called Healing From Numbness. I wrote it after realizing how difficult it was to “feel” again after I had gone “numb” to cope with being sexually abused by a once-trust mentor.
Recently, I learned that the individual who had sexually abused me for months is still living his life, and still teaching, nonetheless. This shocked me. I guess I had thought that so many years had gone by, that his own shame had caused him to fade into oblivion.
But that was not the case. Not only is he still teaching, he is still working with young, trusting people, much like I was as a 15 year old girl.
In my article for Huffington Post, Why I Didn’t Testify Against the Man Who Abused Me Before My Coma, I wrote that it was enough to be living my own life – I didn’t need vengeance or a direct confrontation. Living my life as my victory.
But if that man is still out there, and potentially still endangering the lives of others, then I’m not sure that true justice has been served.
This is a story to be continued – something I am still grappling with. In the meantime, I wanted to share my article, Healing from Numbness, for Manifest-Station. It is difficult healing from sexual abuse. But it is possible. In the meantime, we as survivors will forever be victorious, and nothing can diminish that.
OCTOBER 20, 2015 published in Manifest-Station
By Amy Oestreicher
“Healing” has meant different things to me at various points in my life. As a child, healing took forever when I skinned my knee running around outside. As a teen, healing also meant crying on the phone to a friend when the “guy of my dreams” was taken. But “healing” took a completely new meaning – on the inside and out – when my life and world as I knew it changed forever.
Read the rest of the article here…