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Get ready for  Week #3 of Why Not Wednesday!

de·tourˈdēto͝or-noun1. a long or roundabout route taken to avoid something or to visit somewhere along the way.

Are you sick to death of hearing about Detouristsor do you want to know why you should become one?

Maybe I should start with what a Detourist does:  They LOVE their detour.  (And if you’re a college student, you’re a VERY special kind of Detourist – click here!)

Here are 6 ways to love your detour:

lovemydetour
A.K.A. when you think you’ve got life all figured out and it suddenly decides to go THATAWAY.

1. Savor the element of surprise. Straight paths are boring.
2. Find one beautiful flower along the path and name it after the detour that led you to it.
3. Keep traveling to see where it leads.
4. Find a new friend along the path.
5. Use it as a chance to locate your internal compass.
6. Put the pedal to the metal and take the best road trip of your life!!!

If we keep going, we’re not lost. We’re Detourists.

To celebrate life’s beautiful detours, I’m featuring a lovely Detourist every Why Not Wednesday.

If life's taken you down an unexpected path, you're a Detourist

Have you noticed the movement is growing?  Check out the Detourist Gallery and see who is traveling their twisted, detoured path all the way into uncharted, beautiful territory!
We’re all detourists.  You can read here why I’m a detourist.  

Actually, my detour is taking me to Denver tomorrow to perform my one-woman show, Gutless & Grateful!

Now, I’d like to introduce you to Detourist #3.  Take it away, Jen!

Meet K…

My name is Jen and I am a detourist.  It all started online…

ONLINE DATING….REALLY????

love my detour kionaaa

Believe me, in no way did I imagine myself 39, divorced, a single mom and dating.  This was a detour I didn’t plan for and most certainly wasn’t a road I was looking forward to traveling.  When going through such a tramatic experience, it’s so hard to find the good in it.  What good could come out of this divorce?  In my mind, I’m thinking of all the bad….financial ruin, being alone, dealing with the emotional baggage of my failed marriage, and the list goes on and on.  So many times I wanted to stay in bed, cry and hide from the world.

But I have always been a fighter and I realized that if I let this break me, this long difficult struggle I just went through to become “free” and claim my life back would be for nothing.  I needed to grow, learn and thrive from this experience to make it worth it.  Is it easy…heck no!  But was it the right decision…absolutely!

So often I have people ask me if I am happier now?  Without hesitation I say “YES”.  There are lots of speed bumps along this new road I have taken, but I always find something meaningful to keep me going!    Of course it would have been nice had I met my prince charming, rode off into the sunset and lived happily ever after…but that’s not real life. I’m not alone in this struggle and through this experience have been blessed with so many wonderful, strong people.  These people are my rock!  They support me, encourage me, and comfort me.  And for this, I am truly grateful!.
Dating…..so how do I even do that????

 I’ve been off the market for 17 years for crying out loud!  The last time I was single I was just a kid!

And anyway, dating in high school and college for me wasn’t really “dating” it was more like hooking up.  You know what I mean girlies, right?  Back then you would meet boys (I’m not sure I’d call them men) in the dorms, in the school hallways, frat parties, common places we all hung out at as young people….point being, it was very easy to meet someone your age with similar interests and in the same place in life.

Even though I have missed having the passion, desire and that lustful connection toward someone for many, many, many, many (you get my point) years, and would love to be with someone again, the idea of “being” with another man scares the crap out of me!  It’s a tug of war within me.  I want a relationship but at the same time, I want to run and hide at the thought of one.
Even towards the end when I hated “D”, there was comfort in the familiar, he knew me, and  I knew him. He was the “devil I knew” so to speak.   Now I have to meet new men? Terrifyingly.  What if I meet another “D”?? And to go through the process of learning who they are, how they communicate, figuring out if they are safe and trustworthy? Yikes! How do I do that?  Do I even trust myself to pick a good man? Seems overwhelming and scary at times.
To be honest, when I imagined my dating life after divorce, I saw my girlfriends setting me up left and right, men at my every disposal! But, alas no.  That would have been too easy. Seems my friends (who are mostly married), only know and hang with other married people.  Reflecting back on my married life, I really only knew married men too. Sigh.

So how does one meet someone after divorce? Well, ladies you guessed it, online dating! I can’t freaking believe I even have to consider putting a profile of myself online!

Seemed to me like only creepy people did that or desperate social outcasts….not me! Never in a million years did I think I would be 39 and on an online dating site-gawd! As much as I didn’t want to go this route, I  was ready to be with someone again so I felt i really had no choice. I was lonely!

love my detour kiona
All of this because of one little detour.  And that is why…I #LoveMyDetour!!!
jenn_sig
Thanks Jen!  Alright, it’s your turn now…name the last detour in your life.  And now how are you going to love it…?
Don’t forget to write!
#LoveMyDetour – send me a note telling me why!
And pick up a Detourist guide to get you started…

I turned my detour into the best trip ever.
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